Monday, May 9, 2016

The Day After Mother's Day: A Beautiful Mess

Is it just me or is the day after Mother's Day the most exhausting 24 hours of the year?
OK, maybe not quite as tiring as...welllll.......
 the day you return from 
a three week, nine thousand - ish mile
cross country camping "vacation," facing down 
the barrel of fifteen+ loads of campfire
infused  laundry and family detritus.
But definitely more strength -  sapping than December 26. 
I thought I might be doing something wrong.
Or that I was gradually becoming a jaded, spoiled Mommy......
 because how on Earth could I feel so darn wiped out when I should
be feeling so darn grateful? 
Then I saw this in my FB news feed,
thanks to The Chaos and the Clutter , and truly,  I was relieved.

Ok, I'm not the only one, I realized.
 The second Monday in May is, I've found, in my 16 years as a Mom,
 pretty much devoted to  digging out:
 scraping  pots lovingly burnt used to make a thoughtful  dinner,
catching up on  mountains of laundry,
stashing the "good china"
and generally maintaining order that you gave up
when everyone insisted you take a day off.
But what a day it was, really.......
 We  attended the noon mass, where my oldest lectored
( like I pro, I have to say)
played Clue, watched an ep of Lost,

(yes I'm a complete Lostie, a dozen years late......
 But shhhhhh: We just finished season 4 ~ So: spoilers!
And if you are to me about your fave people!)
drank Dr Pepper, ate the hubby's ammmmmmazing 
baked ziti and garlic bread
(I don't have a picture! )
and the kids' yummy lemon meringue pie ....

(yes, they really made this ! )

 ..........and because everyone insisted I relax,
 got caught up on a few chapters in my book.
And yes, the sun did come out, albeit briefly and although
it was definitely not a sit-outside-and-soak-up-the-beauty Spring day,
I sat out there under a comforter, gosh darn it, with my kids.

I really want to be very careful about talking in a superficial,
 less than genuine  way about this holiday. It's so wrought with
emotion. Believe me, one of the hardest things ever,
is attending mass on Mother's Day  after having suffered a baby loss
while the celebrant asks all "mothers,'grandmothers,
godmothers and mothers to be " to stand for a blessing and 
applause by the congregation.
It pretty much feels, at that point, as if everyone in the world is
a sweet little child's unicorn and rainbow crayola drawing.
Everyone except you.
There's no stopping or minimizing or hiding tears.
It's a nightmare and I hated it.
I still hate it...for me....
it makes me terribly uncomfortable......
ANd I hate it for the moms who've lost.
Who've lost a child, their own mom, grandma or
someone who's nurtured them like a mom.
Mother's Day  is torturous for sooooo many.
And why priests maintain this painful charade year after year,
even after being  requested 
( nicely....really, I mean that, too) 
 to refrain, is beyond me.

Bottom line......? 
Women need to have honest, no - judge 
 conversations about
the pain the holiday brings to so many.
Don't you think, too, this has to be acknowledged,
while honoring our own Mothers and the women
in our lives who've cared for us so unconditionally?

So that's pretty much why at almost 11Pm, 
I'm still getting myself in gear the day after Mother's Day, 
 to return the house to "normal," 
to get my thoughts organized in this post,
AND,  to recognize how blessed am I...... 
above all else,
to have this  mess.

Glacier National Park, Montana
July 2012 !

So while we're talking  the day after and pie...
we were talkng pie, weren't we..... 
have you seen the Mother's Day ep  of The Middleseason 1?
Patricia Heaton's one of my favorites.
Love the show.
(We don't get it's library dvd's for us )
It's an absolute hoot.
And SO SO true.

Image result for birthday themed post dividers
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  1. Happy 2 days after Mother's Day Chris! I hope you have dug your way out of the dirty dishes! :) I know what you mean though! But I will have to say my hubby was on my kids all day to help clean up :) I relaxed and read a book too! I just kept thinking I could seriously do this as a living! Ha!Ha! Your Mother's Day sounded wonderful with good food and beautiful blessings! And I haven't experienced child loss and I am blessed to also have my mother still living, but Mother's Day makes me somewhat uneasy because I know so many suffer on this day, like yourself, from you past loss :( I like the prayer priests pray for mothers as we all stand up, but maybe that should also say a prayer for women who have lost children or their own mothers? Have a blessed week to you, a wonderful mother and friend! :)

    1. Great idea, including the prayer for those who've lost children/mothers.....
      ANd yes we did have a great day....I'm about to click over to your post sitting in my inbox with your MOther's Day recap :)
      T Hanks Tracy for stopping by!


  2. I actually vacuumed on Mother's Day. I guess my family didn't get the memo, lol.

    1. Too funny Shecki!

      It's real life though, right? oxoxo

      Thanks for visiting my friend!

  3. Sounds like your Mother's Day was just right and wonderfully full of real life. And, yes, that episode of The Middle was a hoot. On the varied responses to this Hallmark day, I must say that it's a trial for me too. It's not so much that I've lost a child (although I've lost 5 grandbabies), it's that the day is stressful on so many levels. If you're lucky enough to have a momm and grandmothers, they day must be carefully choreographed for all concerned. If you don't have them, you miss them. It's an emotional day but yet a blessed day - a blessed mess of emotions and gratitude.

    1. Oh my goodness, Birgit........
      You bring up so many valid and amazing truths.

      Thank you so very much for stopping by my friend!


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